From 52ad55458019df7c43cd9183babf76f8a55cbcd1 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: mayday Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2025 11:37:26 -0600 Subject: [PATCH] Add maydayNotes/notes-4-nov-morning.md --- maydayNotes/notes-4-nov-morning.md | 14 ++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 14 insertions(+) create mode 100644 maydayNotes/notes-4-nov-morning.md diff --git a/maydayNotes/notes-4-nov-morning.md b/maydayNotes/notes-4-nov-morning.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2fc38eb --- /dev/null +++ b/maydayNotes/notes-4-nov-morning.md @@ -0,0 +1,14 @@ +paranoia and anxiety are like shitty fuckin cousins + +i guess they could be considered siblings for most folk, but for us it's very much. paranoia and anxiety feel Different.\ +with paranoia, there's a certainty. with anxiety, there isn't. it's a lot like-- + +when i'm having a paranoid episode it feels like there's eyes on the back of my neck. there's an object and subject. when i'm having an anxious epsiode it feels like i only know what the _subject_ is. paranoia is, for me, "I know what is going to happen and I know why", and anxiety is "I know what I think is going to happen but I don't know why". + +...granted they're really fuckin intertwined. it's just easier to beat off anxiety with a stick within this definition--if i don't know why i get the like.\ +>assumes it's in my models\ +>looks inside\ +>not there\ +and i've been able to build the tech of "if it is not in my models and i believe it's going to happen i am Experiencing An Anxiety". paranoia just always feels like there's a Reason I Know, or a Reason I Can Find If I Look Harder. + +there's also the nuance sometimes of "i see it in my models and i am blowing it out of proportion, disregard" \ No newline at end of file