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+title = "synoia crunch 1"
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+PARANOIA SUCKS 2K25 FUCKING KILL ALL SURVEILLANCE 
+
+Paranoia: unbounded/intangible distrust\
+Psychosis: ungrounded belief in harm \[in this specific context]
+^ tab for redefining. This is Off. I don't like specifically defining words :(
+at some point the distinction feels useless beyond semantics but that may just be the paranoid psychotic in me
+
+So: how do you fight this?
+
+-- Basic best practices: Shut The Fuck Up. 
+-- By doing basic best practices you have something to point to for the "this is factually incorrect". If you have Shut The Fuck Up this makes threat modeling easier--knowing what data you've put out there and where is going to simplify that
+
+-- Understanding what distrusts are verifiable. Yeah the government spies on you. This is known. The unverifiable bit is are they spying on _you_, specifically, as a Plan of Action. This is something that I don't really know how I'd untangle beyond "if you Shut The Fuck Up, probably not, but you can't un-say the shit you've said in past"
+-- I'm definitely on a watchlist of anarchists with guns there is NO way they have not collected that data, but I can also understand that's not verifiable and as such acting on it is going to leave me a little. well like how would i even act on that.
+
+-- Recognizing when you are falling into unverifiable distrusts allows you to lean on folk you _do_ trust
+-- Trust as a verb, not a noun: if you feel like you _can't_ trust you've still got the ability to choose to trust
+-- Having a "trustnet" makes that choice easier
+-- again unsure how this. falls with the unverifiable-but-very-likely distrusts. I gotta figure that shit out for myself anyways
+
+-- Building a trustnet involves finding folk who your threat modeling reads as Trustworthy, while you've got your marbles, and being able to at least look at the jar and read who you were choosing to trust with em when your marbles escape
+-- Metaphor may have gotten away from me here ah well
+-- Good point on this one is reliable sources!
+
+Paranoia example one: Kathryn
+
+I live in the same city as my childhood abuser. She knows where I live and could show up at any time. Rationally, I know she would never do that, and even if she did, she would not try to hurt me, and even if she did, I'm capable of defending myself now. The paranoia was in thinking that she was going to show up at any moment and try to hurt me. This was an unbounded distress--that she _would--_ extrapolated from soft data-- that she _could._ 
+
+Paranoia example two: The Fucking Bugs
+
+this one's literally from a few days ago
+
+I had the psychotic belief that there were bugs under my skin. This was ungrounded--well not ungrounded it just was grounded in a false prior based on misinterpreted data. I wanted to ask for help, because I knew I was having a psychotic episode, but my psychosis told me that they _could_ kill me if I tried to get help, and so my paranoia told me they _would_. I was left asking for help in contradictions and soft ways and as such didn't receive it because I wasn't asking in. Coherently understandable. ways
+
+This may be the good distinction between paranoia and psychosis: _would_ vs _could_
+if I believe the government is watching me specifically, that is paranoia, because they would not watch me specifically (I have given them no reason to)
+if I believe the government is putting chips in me to track my movements, that is psychosis and paranoia, because I have no real data pointing to this as a possibility and I have given them no reason to
+if I believe the government is logging my movements, that is. well it's not paranoia or psychosis per se but it's missing the step there of They Do Not Have To If You Carry A Phone
+the bugs being able to kill me was psychosis, kathryn being willing to show up and try to rape me was paranoia
+
+I'm not really certain how best to like. get in the weeds with them. I always just kind of use "I'm having an episode, what I believe right now is fragile and probably off a false-prior", and scrampling into my nearest trustnet member's DMs or physical vicinity and falling over metal pipe style with a request for help. The less you actively engage with the psychosis/paranoia loop the less you feed it the more likely it is to starve.
+
+I will note I do think it tends to be way easier to lever out of paranoia/psychosis loops the earlier you catch it. The Bugs got so bad because it went down like four or five layers from the raw sensory input.
+
+...personal side note I don't think the nerve damage helps with The Bugs as a thing, interpreting a point of contact as a movement is something I'm realizing just tends to happen with me
+
+This shit's easier to explain with a conceptual understanding of Mars kicking around, not gonna lie