14 lines
1.1 KiB
Markdown
14 lines
1.1 KiB
Markdown
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paranoia and anxiety are like shitty fuckin cousins
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i guess they could be considered siblings for most folk, but for us it's very much. paranoia and anxiety feel Different.\
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with paranoia, there's a certainty. with anxiety, there isn't. it's a lot like--
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when i'm having a paranoid episode it feels like there's eyes on the back of my neck. there's an object and subject. when i'm having an anxious epsiode it feels like i only know what the _subject_ is. paranoia is, for me, "I know what is going to happen and I know why", and anxiety is "I know what I think is going to happen but I don't know why".
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...granted they're really fuckin intertwined. it's just easier to beat off anxiety with a stick within this definition--if i don't know why i get the like.\
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>assumes it's in my models\
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>looks inside\
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>not there\
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and i've been able to build the tech of "if it is not in my models and i believe it's going to happen i am Experiencing An Anxiety". paranoia just always feels like there's a Reason I Know, or a Reason I Can Find If I Look Harder.
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there's also the nuance sometimes of "i see it in my models and i am blowing it out of proportion, disregard"
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